Monday, November 24, 2008

Will they read it? Doubt it.

Letters to my children. Actually not really letters, just a friendly reminder....check list if you will.

To my oldest:

  1. You are seventeen...remember that. (Boy, it should really end at that but trust me, there is more.)
  2. You are still living under my roof. Really. Look up. See's the ceiling, that right now your grandparents are helping me I pay for.
  3. Eating is for the dining room, not your bedroom. I refuse to use elbow grease to scrap the 3 week old cheese off the plate that you have left on top of your speaker.
  4. No clean boxers? Damn. See that big box in the garage? You know, the one that spins and makes that funny noise? Yeah, that one. Use it. It's really easy. It even has the directions on the inside of the lid. See?
  5. You can really only stuff so much in the garbage can. Really. I've tried thousands of times but it only holds so much.
  6. You put it down, so you should know where it's at. What is "it"? Anything. Your wallet, glasses, shoes, socks...see? Anything
  7. This probably won't be the last but guess what? Your seventeen. One - seven. 17. I'm 36. Thirty - six. Three...six. See the difference there? Learn it. Live it and when you're 36 you can do as you want.
Now to the little one. His letter is a little shorter but give him time and it'll get longer.
  1. This week is Thanksgiving sweetie. That means the alarm doesn't go off. Means that we don't have to get up before the sun rises. Okay? Thank you so much.
  2. I love the fact that you know the "Clean Up" song but can we put it to use? Singing it while mommy cleans up your blocks that you have practiced your pitching arm with, is not cleaning up.
  3. When mommy says we need to get ready, this doesn't mean running around the house chasing the dogs or seeing if mommy can catch you. It means sitting down so I can put on your shoes. Oh and a word of advise. If you're going to run from me, don't run into a corner. It's really not to your advantage.
  4. And for right now, this will be the last. Your 2 y/o attitude SUCKS! I'm over it.

I love you both boys with all my heart but mommy is really considering seeing if I can trade you in.

5 have this to say:

Qweenie said...

How about an even trade? My two for your two? or should we do half and half? LOL

Poor mama!!

BTW, if you advise him not to run into the corner he'll know the secret you use to catch him....silly woman! Don't give away the secrets!!

Eternal Sunshine said...

Yeah, I was gonna say don't give away the secrets...

My kids (the little ones) still don't know that I use to rearview mirror to know when they are acting up in the car.

They really beleive I have eyes in the back of my head, and I'm not gonna tell them anything.

Too soon, they will figure out that I really don't know everything, so why rush it?

Anonymous said...

Lemme know if this works, 'cause if it does, I know 4 girls who are gonna be receiving similar letters!

Copper's Fox said...

when i walk into the room - mine immediately says "nothing!" before I even ask what he's doing!

Sad thing is - he's only 4 and I need to give him a copy of the letter you wrote your 17 year old!


Rachele Bennett said...

I have a 5 year old boy and a 2.5 darling girl...wanna trade? I could use the help. LOL